GENDER EQUALITY IS A ONE-SIDED EQUATION
I was reading an article in today's paper about the 30th anniversary of Title IX, the legislation that basically mandates equal treatment for boys' and girls' sports, so I was thinking about society's perception of gender roles. Did you ever notice how gender equality is really a one-sided equation?

Society tells girls "you can do anything you set your mind to." It may not be 100 percent true and it may bely the barriers females will face when they go into certain professions, but this is the goal, this is the ideal, this is what we teach our kids. If a girl plays with trucks, it's no big deal. If she wants to be an engineer or if she wants to play soccer, we encourage her. If she wants to become a firefighter or construction worker, our brains may doubt her, but our hearts are pulling for her to succeed, to prove herself.

This is a good thing. Society is much stronger in that we no longer exclude half the population from some important roles. But what about other roles? In math, anything you do to one side of an equation, you do the same thing to the other side of the equation. Otherwise the equation becomes unbalanced.

But if a boy wants to do ballet or figure skating, we assume he's gay, or at least latently so. If he wants to be a hairdresser or likes fashion, we take him to a shrink. Even the most liberal-minded parents would likely get a tinge of concern if, after a certain age, their son played with Barbies. If a man wants to teach Head Start or elementary school, he's quite possibly a pedophile. If he wants to stay home and raise his kids, he must be a loser too unqualified to get a real job.

In other words, it's ok for women to be strong, but caring men are seen as weak. Men can be a little sensitive but, and this is key, not too much so. Lest it arouse suspiscion or contempt. In some places, being a gay man is not a big deal... so long as he doesn't ACT gay, so long as his gayness is not "obvious." Some people are outright homophobes but for others, being gay is not the problem, it's the overt PERCEPTION of one being gay that is the problem. Straight-acting gay men don't bother some people, but "sissy" acting ones do. I admit to being uncomfortable around guys who act "like girls"; I try to be polite, to not let the discomfort show, but it's there. I wish it weren't, but it is.

Basically, modern gender equality means is about women becoming "more like men" but vice versa is still very much taboo. I don't know what we can do about it but I guess we should at least be aware.