Yes Virginia, there really is a National Grid customer service representative

I've written before on what masquerades for customer service at National Grid, upstate New York's main power company. But it seems every time I have to call them, I come up with another story.

I had the misfortune of needing to call them today about an issue. After spending several minutes pressing buttons and listening to annoyingly long, drawn out choices, it finally tried to connect me to one of that rarest of species: the mythical National Grid customer service representative. It's the Loch Ness monster of jobs; you hear rumors it exists but rarely have the opportunity to come in actual contact with one.

Except when the voicemail system (aka: spawn of the devil) tried to connect me, I was told that all circuits were busy and that I should call back later. Then it disconnected me.

Infuriated, I immediately called back, spent another several minutes pressing buttons, spent several more minutes waiting as an obnoxious voice repeatedly told me how important my call was and that important me should hold the line indefinitely since I have nothing better to do. Finally, I got through to [insert dramatic music] an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING. It's a moment you hope for but are never quite sure is actually going to happen. Stunned at getting through to [insert dramatic music] an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING in less than a fortnight, I stuttered at the beginning before telling the guy what I needed. After some 15 minutes of waiting, button pressing and automated voices, my actual business was concluded in under two minutes once I got to [insert dramatic music] an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING.